Gum Chewing Etiquette

Here in America, people love to chew gum-myself included. But it surprises me that a lot of people don't know how to properly chew gum. Here's a couple of tips on how to properly chew gum:

1. Make sure you chew with your mouth wide open.
2. Chew when you are in close proximity to other people-preferably people who are not chewing.
3. If anything should fly out of your mouth (like spit or the gum), do not stop it and pretend that it did not come from you.
4. Also, it is best chewed during quiet times like a sermon, funeral, or the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier.

If you follow these steps, you will know that you are chewing gum correctly if anyone stares, giving you a death glare, and/or other gestures of hate and annoyance.